Counselling in Oxfordshire

Bill Imlah :: Counselling in Oxfordshire

Blog » Four roles I won't take with you

14 Mar 2012

As your counsellor I will work with you to help you achieve your therapeutic goals, but it's important to dispel some common misconceptions:

• I am not a sage
It would be unwise for me to try to be wise.   I'm not there to impart words of wisdom.  I may contribute insights from time to time, but our work together is intended to help you feel safe enough to explore and reflect in ways that put you in touch with your own wisdom.

• I am not an expert on you
There’s only ever one expert on you in the counselling room, and it’s not me.  I won't expect to know the answers to your problems, or what would be best for you, but will help you explore and reflect in ways that help you come to an awareness of how you feel, what you need and what your own way forward is. 

• I am not an advisor
Giving advice is not normally a counselling skill (except, perhaps, in more directive approaches such as those sometimes used in rehab). I am not there to tell you what to do, but am prepared, as appropriate, to offer an opinion or a respectful challenge.  My aim in working with you is to help you value your own judgement enough to trust that you know deep down what is best for you.

• I am not a clairvoyant
I can't know how things will turn out for you in the future. So I won't say stuff like “I’m sure it will turn out all right” or “He’s never going to change” as it involves predicting the future, and so could be limiting, unhelpful and misleading in the here-and-now.

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